Who said you can’t have it all?

Have you ever found yourself in a reality that you never dreamed of?

In 1998, I went through a nasty divorce. Enough said, other than I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.

Afterwards, I wasn’t much fun to be around. At that time I had a day job, but I also owned and operated my own martial arts dojang.

Every day I would go directly from my day job to my dojang and hang out there, primarily because it was less depressing then going to a barren apartment. Once there I would generally run through my katas (prescribed pattern of steps and offensive/defensive movements) and work out for a bit. Then I would go into my office and, generally, read. As before mentioned in black jelly beans, I will read almost anything, and once started, rarely ever give up.

This went on for quite a while, with day following day, and week following week. I had been through multiple science fiction and fantasy novels, some Mark Twain, some pulp westerns (remember, I grew up in Wyoming, lol), all of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes, and quite a bit of Shakespeare.

At the time this vignette takes place, I had been working on Russian literature. (Funny aside, I mentioned this to a friend at the time, and he was ego bolstering-ly impressed. His follow up question though put it in perspective. “When did you learn Russian?” LOL) I had read some Dostoyevsky, namely Crime and Punishment and the Brothers Karamazov and was in the midst of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. (I have to admit, to this day it is the most depressing and aggravating of the lot. Definitely a black jelly bean.)

One day one my students that I had hired to do light housekeeping for the dojang came in to clean up. I had been laying on the middle of the dojang floor reading. (I know, hardly proper etiquette.) When she came in I got up and was on my way to my office when she asked me what I was reading.

Being the guy I am, I probably puffed myself up a little and replied something on the lines of, “Anna Karenina by Tolstoy. Have you heard of it?”

Now let me explain a little. I don’t really think of myself as being a snob or the such. However, I do love intelligent conversation, classic literature, poetry and theatre, and movies with real story lines.

The area that I live in frowns upon this type of behavior even worse than if I were a drug dealer. (Hmmm…. I wrote that in facetiousness, but it might be true.) So, quite often I get ready to be a bit defensive from the moment of engagement.

That said, any intellectual posing I might have been trying to pull off was quite quickly shot down when the lass replied, “Really? Where are you at in the story?”

I’m not sure my lower jaw hit the floor, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that it did.

“Are you familiar with the book?” was my natural reply.

“Yes, I’m reading it currently as well.”

I’m sure she could hear the psssshhhhhhhh as the rest of the air left my over inflated ego.

To my credit, rather than feel threatened by this, I was overjoyed! I had never expected to run into someone at that point with whom I could discuss literature. Brains body both indeed Mr. Hrab.

This creature was amazing. She was as beautiful as any porcelain doll. I had known her for several years at this point and although we were friends, I never anticipated becoming anything more. She was a bit (sarcastic emphasis inserted here) my junior and drop dead gorgeous. She had long wheat blonde hair and exquisite brown eyes, and the slightest little elfish lift to her ears! Her dedication to her training was without equal among any student I have ever had. Her goal was simply perfection. (She is the most technically perfect black belt that ever gained their ranking from me.)

I had always found her attractive but had stayed carefully on the right side of the equation. With the awareness of her equally attractive intellect, I was a bit dumbfounded. Shall we say, deer in the headlights? I think so.

We began talking about many of the different books we had read and music we both enjoyed, and truly, before I knew it, we had begun a relationship the transmuted itself into a marriage that has been the cornerstone of my existence.

With her also came a renewing of my faith and a desire to protect the things that are the most important to me. (See perspective.)

Yes, it is possible that some of this posting might be minutely fictitious. Heck, for all you know it might be total fiction. Regardless, this July we will have been married eight years and I don’t know how the time could have passed so quickly. Together we have a beautiful son and a joyous family. I am truly blessed. Occasionally, it isn’t first sight that is the most important, but rather the opening of your eyes to see what was all ready in front of you.

~ by odin1eye on 25 April, 2009.

2 Responses to “Who said you can’t have it all?”

  1. Aww, that’s sweet! I met my hubby through friends – we gamed together, and the friends who had introduced us spent the evening thinking I hated him, because I really didn’t say anything to him. Then I called her the next day and grilled her. 😀

    Now, the story of how I GOT him – much more interesting.

    • Thanks Val! Isn’t it funny how we act differently around those that pique our interest? Sounds like yours was indeed more of an “at first sight” type relationship though. LOL

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